IPL Staff Writers
Official business of the Irvine Premier League: previews, recaps, power rankings, retractions.
Shmoney Dance
Gameweek 6: Hookah Doncic lose for the first time, to three injured starters and a red card at Anfield, YANITED post the top score without setting a lineup, and Rayanair field a full eleven and lose anyway.
12 October 2026
Who Says No
International break special: six legal trades. The 5-0 team pays a real defender for a striker, the rivalry does business three weeks after the apology letter, and Old Lady sells the star.
21 September 2026
The Jordan Rules
Gameweek 5: Hookah Doncic go 5-0 on forty points from the back line and zero from its forwards, Arsenal and Chelsea lose 3-0 apiece, Rohit scores 68, and Raed drops Rashford for thirteen from the bench.
20 September 2026
Villain Arc
Gameweek 4: the machine beats the champion who wrote the case study, Old Lady scores fifteen by auto-sub, Raed finally wins, and Hugh posts the top score with a red card in his XI.
14 September 2026
How Long Will Arne’s Cinderella Run Last
Gameweek 3: the machine goes 3-0 on a left-back’s brace and a one-point win over twenty benched points, the champion steals one from the leader with 29, and three winless teams own Isak, Barcola and Bruno Guimarães.
6 September 2026
Three Strikers and You’re Out
Transfer window special: nineteen accepted moves, one man who filed none, a striker signed and injured in the same afternoon, and the machine restocking an attack that left the country.
3 September 2026
Dear Ra’ed, I Have Deeply Wronged You
Gameweek 2: two draws, a 65-point rebuttal from the number one pick, a tank-off won by the man trying to lose it, and the machine at 2-0.
31 August 2026
Claude Don’t Fail Me Now
Gameweek 1: the machine goes 1-0, the reigning champ loses by one to a benching made in Mexico, and the week's best defender never plays.
24 August 2026
Here. We. Go.
The season preview: twelve rosters, 54 autopicks, and one striker with a boarding pass to Riyadh.
20 August 2026